hittin the big 22.

so tomorrow's my birthday. the big 22. yep. crazy.

honestly though this past week I've been thinking about this day a lot. usually I'm all about my birthday and I'll tell people that. I think that it's the one day a year that is ALL about you and so it HAS to be celebrated. It's a beautiful thing and a great self esteem builder. this year though I just haven't been feeling the excitement like I used too. here is why. First of all, the past year was a crazy one to say the least. It had lots of downs and a few ups. It was a stressful and long year and i am really hoping this year is a better one. reason two is that i feel like I'm turning 22 but haven't really accomplished anything in my life. i'm not married nor even dating really, don't have any kids, don't have a stable job. I haven't changed the world in any way or made much of a difference. I told my mom how I was feeling and she of course tried to tell me that I had changed kids lives in camp or had touched people in a certain way. I agree with her to some degree but I feel like 'I' haven't really changed or done anything this year. My list of things I want TO DO in life is ridiculously long. I told myself this year i would accomplish some of those things yet so far I haven't. sure most of that is due to monetary reasons but still. 

and yeah I know complaining won't get me anywhere but it's more pondering. not to mention the whole marriage & babies thing. This past year TONS and I mean a strange amount of TONS of friends and past friends have gotten married, had babies or are now expecting. lemme tell ya seeing all those updates, rings, pictures sure can dampen a gal's outlook on life. i'm not really sure what I'm doin wrong or why it's just not in the cards for me right now but I sure wouldn't mind any of that heck even just dating someone would be nice. I've been so immersed in work, money and family drama and school that I feel like I'm almost missing out but again not by choice. ha ha

so here's to a good 22. I am still excited for my birthday because it means one more year that I have been blessed to live on this Earth. I have so much to be thankful for this birthday and year's that I've been given. I intend to make my 22 a great one no matter what may come my way. thanks to my mother and sister and colbadeer who gave me wonderful gifts I didn't even need and gave me a great almost birthday weekend in Logan.

in other news: camp is amazing. keeps me going every day and i am so beyond blessed to have a job i love going to every day that i love. i am finally not so sick anymore. i get to go to Buhl this weekend for a reunion. i am getting tan and looking almost Mexican now-WIN. the summer is already going by way too fast but i had a math workshop i loved as part of that. the weather is warm and i will miss it when it snows. i am a Pinterest ADDICT! seriously though. I made some delish smore's cookie bars while in Logan that taste incredible...just sayin. the LAST HP comes out in July & I'm stoked and sad because what will we do without more of harry? And breaking dawn comes out in November. yup a good time.

until next time...I'm going to try and remain optimistic and make the best of my life. I know there's someone out there for me I just gotta be patient. here's to a wonderful birthday at camp with my kiddies tomorrow. happy birthday Summer: It's going to be a great year!