a quick thought or two.

so it's sunday night & i should most certainly be asleep by now so I won't be exhausted in my practicum tomorrow. butttt I gotta write some quick stuff down that i don't wanna forget. so here it is. first of all, i feel like my weeks are so crazy that by the time sunday rolls around i've lost it. seriously i am always laughing during sacrament meeting and ward prayers these days. i feel horrible and most of the time it's stupid stuff that isn't even funny but to me and yet i continue laughing. and then i look crazy to everyone & i'm sure i'm being judged but by that point of my week i'm pretty sure i've just gone mad. good stuff like today in sacrament when i smelled something cologney & i leaned closer to the guy sitting in front of me to see if it was him and looked back & emilee was looking at me like i was a lunatic. anddd then we both started laughing & i just had to explain what i was doing. awkwardio. poor ben who was sitting by us was probably like ' yup. i'm never sitting by this irreverant crazy person again'.

moving on. so lemme just give a quick rundown of how today was for me. seriously i've never had a sunday like this one. so one pm rolls around & CUE: church. I was at church till 4 & then we had a linger longer. of COURSE i went to that. & because i love singing & i love our adorable choir director I headed to ward choir around 4:30ish. I had to leave a little before 5 though which was when I rushed home to my apt for a full 10ish (if that) minutes to look over a list & then i headed out to do visits with Emily. We went on a couple of visits which took up just about an hour. we finished just in time for me to run upstairs for about another 10 minutes & then I went to the fireside with a different Emilee. after that? oh I just hung at the church for awhile because we had ward prayer shortly after & then our wonderful presidency meeting right after. i think about it & i laugh because it was crazy how the day flew & how much was accomplished. okay soooo not the point of this post. the point comes from Emily (who I went on visits with) & mindy our amazing RS pres.

to start this thought i had i need to go back in a time a bit. when i first moved to salt lake i was a young'un. i'd barely turned 19 and i was out in the world as an 'adult'. Since that time i've met a fair share of people who have influenced me and wowed me & who I sincerely say & tell myself " i want to be just like them. I look up to this person so much & i hope I can be half of that someday'. needless to say i have felt so inadequate many times when i see people who are so incredible, willing to serve, loving and know the gospel inside and out. these people have included past & current RS presidents, past and current bishoprics, elders, roommates that i've come to know. okay now cut to this evening. the Emily I went on visits with is freaking adorable. seriously she's the cutest thing around town. so we were on visits right and after we finished up with one she just says so genuinely to me ' you're so great Summer. really I look up to you so much. I want to be like how you are, you just talk to people so easily and you do this and this'. at the time i was like ' oh gosh i'm not that great really it's not a big deal', you know just played it off because i still have a very long ways to go ya know. then at our presidency meeting Mindy played this song for us and told us to just see what came to mind. It was called One Voice. through that entire song i thought of emily and how she said she looked up to me and all the people i know of that i've looked up to for so long. and i realized that i'm slowly but surely becoming like those people that i have admired for so long. i mean little old me. this is my blog so luckily i can talk about stuff like this that doesn't matter to anyone but me haha. but through the years i felt like i'd never get there. i'd never be that person and to realize that, without even knowing it, i've started to really become that person is one of the best feelings i've had in a long time. i'm finally coming to know fully who i am, what i want to do and what's important in life. i really have this current calling to thank for that. i feel like in the past couple months i've had it, i've grown in numerous ways more than i have in the past couple of years. it's amazing what serving the Lord fully and really prioritizing a calling can do for life. sure i'm busier than i've ever been, more stressed than ever, more tired than ever, more out of my mind than ever haha and still needing to work on procrastinating, but at the same time i feel more peace than ever before & more like me than i have in a very long time. i love it. i'm so blessed it's ridiculous. i love this gospel so much. anywho there's my lesson this wonderful sabbath day. the end.